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First Draft, Story for Graphic Novel I am working on (comments welcome)

Kashil: Day Thee.

So we left off w/ the protagonist. Zoreth Asototh was meditating while the woman slept. There was a brute tied to a tree. He was the brains and the other large man was slain by the woman before she slept. Zoreth was watching over the woman and it was around dusk.

I sat with my legs crossed and eyes close breathing deeply and counting his breaths as the man sat there struggling to break free from his bonds. He had been struggling long enough to start to make his wrists start to bleed from the bonds. There was a small puddle starting to grow as the welts got deeper and deeper. He then started to yell in a language I hadn't heard for a very long time. Was it Yedish I thought to myself. Latin he thought again. No, now he remember the language he was speaking he had only ever heard once. It was the language of the ancient tribe of Skotchoa. A tribe thought to be long gone.  They worshiped an ancient demon who in lore was said to bless its  believers by giving them the ability to live only on the suffering of others. I had read about it a very long time ago in a crumbling temple of the Inca. There were images of men and women torturing others and streaks of light came out from their core. He had met an Incan that day and had asked about the drawings. He gave me a very harsh look and said that you don't know them and don't want to. They are a bad people  he told me and then moved very close and pulled my coat collar and said. You hear a word or many like this, "KAHOIISHIL DKKANED SOELS." You run... And that was the last I heard of them till now... I looked at him then closed my eyes again. Since that didn't work he decided to try screaming. That is when the woman awoke. She looked at me then back at the man who screamed at the top of his lung then grabbed some leaves and dirt and crammed them down his throat then she took out the rapier she had used to kill the other and pointed the it at the man. He just started struggling more. After a bit of struggling she twitched her wrist a bit and a large red streak showed up on his cheek. I then asked,
"What purpose does that serve?"
She replied, "He deserves worse." Then she took a step back pulled her arm back that is when I stood and she paused long enough for me to get in between her and her killing blow.
"OUT OF MY WAY!" She screamed.
"Would it not be worse punishment for him to be feasted on by the infected." I replied.
She lowered her rapier and paused.
"They will be here soon and that way you will not have waisted your skill on such an unworthy opponent." I continued.
She then sheathed the rapier. Kicked the man in the face breaking his jaw and slowly walked away. I got up piled some leaves near a birch that the man wasn't tied to then lit it on fire with my flint and steel. It had been a pretty unusually dry season so the tinder caught pretty fast. I grabbed my katanas and the extra rope the put the club up against a tree near the now very quiet man. I then said we must go get my gear then I started walking in a quick pace back the way I came. Trying to cover my tracks as we went. I notice that she was surprisingly good at not leaving a path to follow. When we got back to were I had stashed my gear we started hearing screaming in the the once peaceful forest.
"We must get further north so that they don't catch our scent."I said as I pointed up the hill.
"They have been know to track a human from over five miles away," I continued.
"You OK to jog." I asked?
She responded by grabbing the hilt of her newly acquired rapier and started jogging up the hill. I Strapped down all of my gear and started after her. For what she had just been through she was in surprisingly good condition. When we got to the top of the hill. She turned left and quickened her pace. I was highly impressed with her though because that is the exacted way I would have gone had I been in the lead. The reason being that it was down the another slope and the trees were a lot thinner down there so the breeze would cool us as we ran plus the breeze would carry our scent in the wrong direction. Which was a very good thing. At this junction of time.
After a while she slowed her pace and turned downward toward a small brook in the side of the hillside. Then she hopped on the rocks and jogged up the brook not slowing her pace once. Slowly the birch grove crept back into a dense mirage where she slowed down or she would collide with one of the branches. I followed in awe in her ability to navigate through the thick foliage and wondered how she had gotten captured in the first place. Then she stopped abruptly and started walking up in the creek. After about ten yards she walked up the bank and and unstrapped her sheath of her rapier and sat down on the ground with her rapier place vertically across her lap.
"You have any food in that sack of yours?" She asked.
"Bread, dried rabbit, some figs, and a package of herbs." I replied.
"Give." She said extending her hand.
I handed her the small package of food that was in my carrying sack then sat down next to her. She nodded and smiled at me in appreciation then began to eat. Starting first with the dried rabbit the nibbling a little of the bread while placing some figs on top to add some sweetness to the overall taste. She didn't touch the herbs till the end when she got up and walked over to the stream got a pouch from her pocket that was on her waste dumped the pouch into the water dumped all of the dried herbs in the pouch tied a string around it and flung it over a tree branch. By then the sun was out and I knew exactly what she had in mind. She was making a broth and having the flavor blend and come out more by heating it by the light of the sun. She then walked over to the brook. Then she unsheathed her rapier. Hopped onto a rock in the middle of the stream and then stood back for a second and then with a quick stroke dipped the tip of the blade in to the water and with as much speed as the first she pulled back and rapidly plunged the tip of the blade into the water. When then as quickly as she started she was done and hopped back onto the bank of the stream with three fish on the tip of her sword.
"May I use on of your throwing knives?" She asked.
I bent over and took out one of my blades and handed it to her handle first. She took it and began to skin and clean the fish. When done she lowered the pouch of water and dumped the fish pieces which she had cubed into the broth.
"How long have you been on your own?" I asked curious to how she had learned all what she had.
"Five months four days ago." She replied.
"Before then?" I asked.
"Party of five was ambushed and when we ran we fell in to a pit trap. The two that you saved me from were all what were left of a two dozen strong hunting tribe. Don't really know why the kidnapped me. They did not seem to eat anything and when it came to sustenance they didn't really seem to require it. All they did was torture my two good friends that had survived the initial trap and when they were done with them they started on me." She paused closed her eyes for a bit, then, "Only way I got away was the weather three days ago. The storm had loosened my bonds enough so that I could slide out of them with a little strength and then I cut the throat of two of the six remaining. Then they started the chase with four. Lucky for me the storm held. A couple fell off a cliff chasing me. The last two had just started catching up to me, and by that time I was to the point of the exhaustion that if you had not been there I would be their slaves again." She closed he eyes and paused again "Thank you." She said after a few moments. Then she leaned up against the tree and shut her eyes. "Can you take first watch?" She asked wither her eyes shut.
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rcRlD6LYMU
  • Reading: what I wrote
  • Watching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rcRlD6LYMU
  • Playing: life
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water

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ZorethAsototh
Brian John Huggins
United States
Grew up in northern Minnesota, Currently living in Eden Prairie. Work at a day program for autistic adults and adults with special needs. Working currently on web site and graphic design porfolio. I will add the site when I am satisfied on how it looks.
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